On the path to being reborn again as an artist
The belly dancer 'Zelda' was very good indeed. She danced well and was very sexy. She invited numerous men to dance with her, but all declined.
I felt very sorry for her and stepped out and performed. She removed my pipe and top and put a sequinned bra on me with a long skirt. We amused the audience for five minutes. Afterwards I spoke to her and she told me she had learned to dance in London. She thanked me for saving her!!
Blackie is on heat. The tart!
I woke up and wrote to my father. I am proud of him and told him so. He is raising £3000 by selling his pictures. All money goes to the families of the striking coal miners.
I finished the monochrome drawing of Stanley earlier last night - conte, ink and white acrylic on card. Then went out with Mike taking the sketchbook. I did no drawing in either 'The Upton' or 'The Bull and Bush'.
When we got back I showed him some of Bob's letters. I read them first and was very moved by the power and perceptiveness of many of the things he had written. He saw trouble between Cherry and I. He had seen trouble between Priscilla and I.
I was too 'blind' to notice either the 'trouble' at the time or to notice Bob's perceptive comments afterwards. Until now that is!
I now have a 'dulled' awareness of the reality that once was. Still, it is a start!
In fact there is no alternative but to commence from this moment on!
Awoke to the music of a tremendous thunderstorm, torrential rain and great power. Nature's lion-like roaring and crackling makes my inner whimpering and indecisiveness appear trivial and pathetic.
I am so apathetic. I do not paint. I just mope about. Even the word 'about' is flattering. I mope statically!
My stomach is pot-bellied. I will try to get it into shape. My 'painting organ' is also cobwebbed.
I painted the signature off 'The Spirit of Totnes'. The signed part was totally ostentatious and interfered with the image.
There is still a lot wrong with the painting, however I hope I am on the path to being reborn again as an artist.